A few nights ago I had a very difficult time sleeping. All I heard in my head was how much I had messed up as a Christian and that God would never be able to use me to glorify Him. I was reminded by the enemy of many mistakes I had made and was condemned over and over again. Even though I knew I had repented of past sins and bad choices, he used those memories to haunt me. I remember telling myself multiple times that I knew I had been forgiven and that I had learned from those mistakes. 

I believe that we all go through periods in our life when we make bad choices, many times knowing better. I’m so glad that I serve a God who doesn’t remember my sin once I have repented and received forgiveness. The Bible says that “as far as the east is from the west, He has removed our transgressions from us“(NASB). God will certainly convict me of sin in order for me to see myself, but He does not condemn.  Satan is my accuser and He uses every opportunity he can to discourage me and take away any hope for a bright future and the ability to glorify and honor my Lord (Revelation 12:10).

I had to remind myself of all the people in the Bible that God used for great things even though they had made some big mistakes. To name a few, Saul was a Jew who persecuted the church and wanted to eradicate Christianity prior to his conversion on the Damascus Road. He was then known as the apostle Paul and was a warrior for Christ, spreading the Gospel.  King David made a number of mistakes such as committing adultery, murder, lying, stealing, and covetousness. He repented of his sins and sought to glorify God. King David was in the direct lineage Jesus Christ. Simon Peter denied Christ and after repenting, God used him to spread the gospel. Moses committed murder but God used him to lead his people out of Egypt into the promised land. There are many more.  

I came to the conclusion that even though I had made a lot of mistakes, God could still use me. His timing isn’t mine and his ways are not my ways, nor are his thoughts my thoughts (Isaiah 55:8 NASB) but He knows that I am committed to Him I want to be used for His glory.