As one can read in my book, I did not always trust God with my life. Of course, there were times that I thought that I didn’t deserve to be single. I was often angry at God. At that time in my life, I chose to believe not only false things about God but also untruths about myself. Many years of joy were stolen from me because of my warped feelings toward circumstances of what I looked like, what my mother thought about me, and how to win approval. I didn’t realize at that time that the only One who did accept me completely was God! Until I truly believed that God is love and that His plan for me is good, I could not understand why my singleness was a part of His plan at that time in my life. But God was not holding out on me. Being single put me in the position to open my life to complete surrender and to hold on to Him.
Punishment and fear go together, and this perfect love of God does not involve either. Perfect love casts out fear (I John 4:18). He wants me to trust Him every day for His timing and His plan, no matter what that ends up being. It’s for my best, and it makes me more like Him.